Good Reads

This summer I've been moving from one fantastic book to the next, all the time wondering how long this winning streak will last. I get recommendations from many sources, and I like to keep track of my lists--to-read, currently reading, read, children's books, etc.--on goodreads.com. It's also a great place to play armchair literary critic.

(Note: I wouldn't recommend reading all the war stories at once. I need breathers between those heartbreaking, but worthwhile non-fiction pieces.)

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption, by Laura Hillenbrand

Louie Zamperini's true story is gripping, terrifying, astonishing, inspiring, and a dozen other strong adjectives. I learned so much about so many facets of WWII, and I came away with a new perspective on war, hunger and real need, and humanity in its many forms. I loved the inclusion of Zamperini's post-war struggle and subsequent turning to God. The story could have easily ended with his return home and still been a great book. Sharing the very personal conversion and forgiveness elements brought an added depth. This is one masterful non-fiction piece.

All But My Life, by Gerda Weissmann Klein

This Holocaust piece is hopeful, even optimistic at times. The details are just as grim as you would expect, but they are not graphic. Klein's gift is finding the humanity in the most horrifying circumstances. Her strength is obvious, yet she is humble and honest, even guilty at times for surviving. In addition to relating her war experiences, she also tells a little about her post-war life, including her sweet love story with her future soldier husband, and her human rights' work. I found this to be an inspiring, beautiful account, more powerful than any fictional Holocaust novels, and on par with Corrie Ten Boom's "The Hiding Place".

The Hemingway Book Club of Kosovo, by Paula Huntley

Besides opening my eyes to the devastation and ruin of a very recent war, this book simply inspired me. The author went to Kosovo with her attorney husband so that he could help re-build the judicial system; she herself had no job or purpose there until she took a job teaching English to high schoolers and anyone else who showed up to class. In this journal, she shares the students' stories, her compelling desire to help them create futures, and her own learning process. It's fascinating and beautiful and wrenching to discover meaningful traditions and crippling, dysfunctional cycles--and then to compare those qualities to our own realities.

My Life in France, by Julia Child

Julia's writing is delightful and descriptive. Her voice! It just echoed in my head throughout the personal stories of marriage, travel, education, friendships, and of course, food, food, food. I enjoyed her enthusiasm and her commitment to what she called "self-education." I couldn't help but look up and cook up some of her famous recipes after reading this fun memoir. The gal almost persuades me to try escargot or mussels.

The Dirty Life: On Farming, Food, and Love, by Kristin Kimball

The best thing about this book is that one minute you'll want to start your own organic farm, and the next you'll think the author and her husband are complete lunatics; you'll want to live in their small town and lend a hand on their five-hundred acres, then you'll thank your lucky stars you aren't living like pioneers. I loved how candid this woman is in relating her adventures. She tells it like it is, and some parts are Thoreau-like in their idyllic return to nature; some parts are gross, exhausting, unbelievable for this American century. I could hardly put the book down, could hardly stop myself from imagining my little garden becoming something more, though nothing like the amazing working, whole-diet enterprise accomplished by this family.

There now, I just wanted to share a bit. If you made it through this post, I say you deserve a trip to the library and then book club at my house.

Dream on...

Did I ever tell you about the time we went to Disneyland for the very first time (last May) and I stood in line with Jamie Beth for almost TWO HOURS so she could meet the princesses? She loved it. Those pictures (which may or may not ever appear on this post) are such a hilarious blend of sudden shyness and complete awe. Jamie Beth's not obsessed with Disney princesses to any great degree, but who can not be impressed by real live beauties in fancy dresses, like a scene straight out of a fairytale? And these were very gracious cartoon characters, smiling and asking questions, hugging and posing for quick photos. By the end of the little tour, Jamie Beth had figured out that these were workers--employees of Disneyland who dressed up and pretended every day. That realization got her mind going.

"I want to work here someday! I'll be a princess sometimes, take tickets sometimes...it would be so fun!"

I wanted to hear more. "And which princess would you want to be?"

"Tiana."

Now, I want to encourage my daughter's dreams as much as the next mom who waited for TWO HOURS to meet pretend princesses, but...I thought I should maybe, just maybe, point out a key trait that Jamie Beth might have missed.

"Well, Tiana is very beautiful and charming, but, you know, ummm, she is black. And you are a very white Danish girl. Don't you think Disneyland would prefer a black girl to play Tiana? So she would kind of look like Tiana?" (Not to crush your dreams or anything.)

"It's okay, mom. It's just pretending."

"Right, true; but what about Sleeping Beauty or Cinderella? Ariel and Jasmine would be kind of tricky, but you could definitely be one of the blonde princesses." (Not to sound prejudiced or anything; just trying to be realistic.)

"Nope. Tiana. She's my favorite."

Alrighty then. Let's go find a ride without a line.

Ups & Downs

"Motherhood is a bi-polar sort of occupation." I recently read that comment, made by someone else on another someone else' s blog-post, and it stuck to me. Not precisely negative or complaining, not rosy or impossibly cheerful, just true for me. Mothering brings out the best and the worst in me; and, my mothering brings out the best and worst in my kids. Some days are fabulous and I congratulate myself for being such a wise, loving, educating, understanding mother. Of course, you know what comes the next day--the opposite. Where did my patience go? Where are the well-mannered, helpful children hiding? Didn't I laugh at disaster just yesterday? Why is everyone crying?

That tug-of-war, to and fro, bi-polar quality is exactly what I've noticed as I read over my journal lately. I'm finding that I must--must--record the happenings (good, bad, sad, and funny) so I can 1. remind myself that all is not lost, there are many happy times, and 2. so I can see the pattern and prepare for the next bummer day.

Case in point, try out these unedited excerpts from my journal:

February 23
Dallin and Nate played happily together with Legos today. That's always worth noting. It was actually about 2 hours! I didn't disturb them even though it was resting time! And I rarely use exclamation marks, so that really is something.

February 24
But they fought over the Legos all day today. And stole Matthew's “special” set from his room, and then lied to me about it. Grrr.

Jamie Beth threw a tantrum about practicing piano. I may have almost lost my temper.

Matthew is learning that not every school class is going to be his favorite. He's trying to decide for junior high between classes he doesn't like and classes he really, really doesn't like.

My brain is leaking out, I'm pretty sure. I'm eating Nutella on pretzels to console myself. But here's a tender mercy: Celia fell asleep just now, minutes after Matt took the kids to his basketball game, and minutes before I plan to go to bed.

It's 7:03 and that is 6 hours earlier than I went to bed last night. Which is precisely why my brain is leaking out.

March 20

I've actually had at least a week of good days. It's funny that during these better days, I can't even remember what was wrong with me back on those bad days. Not that this week has seen my house become a sparkling haven, or any projects have been finished, or that I was a singing, loving mother every moment. But...BUT...I did set a goal each day—just one, because after all I have a baby still—and I accomplished that goal each day.

March 26

I wasn't kind and patient enough with Nate, I shouted a couple times, I didn't accomplish my goal of cleaning up my room, I had a hard time with Jamie Beth and a school project—she cried twice about my helping her. She thought she would never finish because I was correcting too much.

March 31

Despite a day-long headache that precluded all housewifely usefulness, today is the third day in a row that I felt was a good day. It could have something to do with greater efforts at prayer, scripture study time, and talking quietly. Also meal-planning.

Now I should go to bed, but once again I'm hungry. Celia sucks the nutrition out of me.

April 17

Today the kids happily played card games and board games until church. They dressed themselves and each other so they would have more time to play. Matthew taught them the rules. I heard no fights, no tears, hardly a mean tone. Then, they were unbelievably, impeccably respectful and attentive when the home teachers came. They were reverent in church. (Nate was relatively reverent.) And, at the end of the day, no one argued with me when it was time to leave Nana's house. I wish I knew what happened so I could replicate it. Happy Sabbath day to me.

April 21

I'm busy, but calm. Surprisingly calm.

April 25

I worked hard all day but don't see much difference now. I'm telling myself that the house is just a little ahead of where it was this morning, so tomorrow I will get even further. Farther? I never know. I know in my heart that the living room is dusted, the hallway baseboards are clean, some walls are cleaner, two loads of laundry were washed (though not folded), and dishes were slowly washed throughout the day because, darn it, the dishwasher is not working and I have to handwash everything. Also vacuumed the living room and hallway, fed children many times, swept the kitchen, dropped off and picked up Dallin from soccer practice, and made a new, if mediocre recipe for dinner. Read scriptures and wrote in journal. A very full, though possibly invisible day.

Invisible. The word is a curse at times, a blessing at others. It connotes uselessness and futility on my bad days; it's like a giggled secret between me and my fast-growing children on good days. It's the bi-polar thing again.

Last week I sent this musing into the Facebook cosmos:

I feel tired and happy with the knowledge that some good things got done today, still-messy house notwithstanding. Maybe it's not messy after all; maybe it's just in a constant state of transition, a process rather than a completion. The reason I keep writing down in my journal all the household tasks I've done, all the reading to kids, and mediating arguments, is just so I remind myself that I really am doing something...because it's all invisible, isn't it? Yet not less valuable.

What we'll remember about 2010

Now that it's nearly May, I feel ready to reflect on some of last year's happenings. No, actually I wrote this in December and just remembered to edit and post it:

• Jamie Beth's permanent teeth grew in funny--completely behind, not even touching her baby teeth.
• Dallin's reading skills improved at an exponential rate as he often spent two hours a day reading. We have to actually limit his reading time so he'll do other things!
• Matthew moved from football to basketball without missing a beat. He tries not to complain about sore muscles or injuries, because he doesn't want me--the nervous mom--to nix the whole athletics thing.
• Nathaniel took apart everything: hinges off doors, screws out of switchplates, sockets, and toys, baseboard off walls. Nothing is ever safe at our house from this climbing, curious boy. Oh, and he figured out the alphabet.
• Disneyland & California Adventure for the first time. Five days was the perfect amount of time to explore and have fun. Matthew rode the California Screamin' Roller Coaster 16 times over two days; Jamie Beth couldn't get enough of the river rafting ride and coaxed me to go with her. We truly enjoyed a fantastic vacation together.
• Hired someone else to paint for us. And someone else to close in the carport so we have a real garage. Three cheers for getting projects completely finished!
• Matt began loving his job for the first time since he started there eight years ago. He's enjoying developing apps for the iPad and iPhone for Ancestry.com. He also began traveling to San Francisco on a regular basis.
• In November, Matt found a new favorite exercise program: CrossFit. He joined with his brother and brother-in-law and now works out like a crazy man. It's definitely become his hobby.
• I was pregnant from January to October, which seems like a really long time when I say it like that.
• Celia joined our family, with all her sweet calmness, her kissable chubbiness, her dark hair and blue eyes.

Very wise, I think...

Well, everyone needs a Dallin-ism once in a while:

On a recent evening, Dallin was describing his interest in taking up bobsledding (?!?), which led us to a short discussion about that old movie, “Cool Runnings”, which led us to a talk of Winter Olympics. Dallin became excited about maybe winning a bobsledding event someday and started planning his strategies. As our conversation turned to recalling a sledder who died at an Olympic practice, Dallin's eyes widened and his self-preservation instinct kicked in. In a suddenly serious tone, he said, “Actually, I think I would tell my team to go really slowly. I wouldn't mind losing so we don't die.”

(I just made a label for the kid whose talent is unintentionally making people laugh. Dallin.)

Sharing

(The past several months I've re-committed to writing in my journal. Between that and the instant sharing of Facebook, I haven't felt very motivated to keep up this family journal. However, I'm starting to think about maybe printing out the blog as a family journal for the kiddos to read. So here's to a tentative re-start.)

As we prepared bags of food to set out for the scouts to collect for the food bank drive, I said that my food storage was looking a bit low, so we would just do three bags. Jamie Beth then remarked, “But Mom, we have money to buy more food storage, and poor people don't!”

Well, how do you argue with such sweet generosity? We made up another bag.