Me, pregnant, 34 weeks

The clock is ticking...that's really my main thought every day. I have a mental list of all the "must-do" projects, and I'm procrastinating until the painter comes. I tell myself I can't set up a crib, organize baby clothing, hang pictures or curtains, find a new carseat, sew blankets and burpcloths...until the painter comes. I have no excuse for why the pantry isn't yet organized.

Yes, I do. I'm busy gestating.

I keep reminding myself that I don't have to waddle; I really am capable of walking with a normal gait.

I sit in front of the fan in the living room a lot. There was that one weekend several weeks ago that our air conditioning broke down...permanently. The entire system needed to be replaced. Can you imagine how quickly I scheduled our A/C guy, how eagerly I paid him whatever he wanted? Nothing like pregnancy and superheat to illustrate the laws of supply and demand.

This baby moves a lot, an experience I really do enjoy 90% of the time. The kids frequently want to feel the kicks, but it seems like all movement stops when someone else's hand is there. Does this mean that baby will be easily soothed by family attention?

The kids already call the baby by the name we've chosen, and that always sounds weird to me. I just don't connect the name to a person yet. Baby. That's the baby's name to me. Just Baby.

I get the restless legs syndrome at night. And if I stretch and point my toes while I'm sleeping...immediate leg cramps. I've taken a calcium supplement the past couple nights and that seems to be helping.

I can't decide if I should be on edge in case my labor is early and quick, like Dallin's birth; or, should I relax because the other three births were all late? My sister-in-law had her first baby five weeks early--that would be this week for me.

I really hope that doesn't happen. The painter hasn't come yet.

Matthew and I play word games together. If he wants logical--chess, checkers, rubiks cube--he goes to his dad; but for word games, I'm his girl.

Quiddler is our favorite lately. It's like Scrabble or Boggle, but played with cards. Because negative points are possible for a round, the leader of the game can change drastically in just one hand. Matthew is fiercely competitive and keeps a running record of high scores. I have to use all of my brains and none of my mother-mercy in order to win. We love it.

Last Sunday I lay down my hand, confident that my valuable q and z cards would win the round.

"Quay? What kind of word is that?" Matthew didn't want to give up his lead.

"You can go look it up if you want."

He actually sighed. "No, I know it's a word because it's you."

*Revelation #1--He trusts me.

*Revelation #2--He knows something about my personality.

Such little things are learned through these little interactions...for both of us.

Words to live by...

Because we live near so many cousins, my kids often remind each other who they are and are not allowed to date/marry. In genuinely concerned tones, they repeat verbatim the useful information given several years ago by a wise, helpful (8-year-old) cousin:

If you marry a family member, you will have a two-headed baby.

I might be serious...

A while ago Dallin was curious about the logistics of errand-running with a new baby. He asked about strollers, fitting baby and Nate into a grocery cart, carseat arrangements, etc.

"Oh," said I, "when we have baby five, we won't be leaving the house ever again."

His eyes widened. "But how will we get food?"

"I guess your dad will have to go shopping."

Apparently this far-fetched solution clued him into my facetiousness. He shook his head as a grin crept onto his face. "Nooo...you're just teasing me. Dad can't go shopping because he has to work! We actually will leave the house."

We'll see.

A Good Day

Yesterday I spent the entire day preparing for the Relief Society picnic (which came off very well, I think) and expected the kids to basically take care of each other. To make up for that, and to reward them for doing such a good job being ignored by me, I declared today "No Chore Day".

I am thrilled that this announcement was met with cheers. That must mean that our chores are routine and effective enough that their absence is something to celebrate.

I added that they did still have to dress and brush their teeth. Dallin piped up, "And make our beds." He offered, so I accepted. Sure, and make your beds.

Then we started deciding what activities we would do. After ruling out anything in Salt Lake, anything with water (we're swimming tomorrow already), and clarifying that, yes, we were doing things together, so, no, you're not staying home with your iTouch...after all that we planned:

• a picnic at the playground with cousins
• a trip to the PERC (a place at the library that loans games and educational activities)
• a visit to the Dinosaur Museum at Thanksgiving Point
• attending tonight's animal show at the Monte Bean Science Museum

Ambitious, aren't we? Might as well pack it in, I guess.

Here's the best thing, now that I'm near the end of the festivities--we had fun, even those who initially complained! They played together, I didn't go into labor, there was only one wet accident, and only one bloody nose. Additionally, I witnessed the following happy sibling interactions:

"I'll figure out the instructions for that game and play it with you."

"Hey, come work with me on brushing this part of the fossil."

"I think Nate would love this."

"I'll take care of the boys while you take Jamie Beth to the bathroom."

"Nate, chase me!"

You can see why I had to document such a good day as this.

Remember that old Shel Silverstein poem?

Lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy Cissy.
She wants to upload her photos.
So she waits and waits and waits and waits and waits...
For Matt to do it instead.

Or something like that.

~sigh~Someday I'll blog again.

Me, pregnant, 17 weeks...

You don't need a picture, because I'm going to paint one for you:

The constant nausea is gone now, has been for about three weeks. (Yet the house looks just as bad as it did during those weeks I spent most of my time on the couch.)

Just exhaustion, lethargy, inability to style my hair beyond the ponytail. I don't remember being so useless at this point in previous pregnancies. Have I forgotten? Or am I getting old? Never had a baby in my 30's, after all. Or maybe it's Nate's fault. Never had to chase the likes of him around during a pregnancy.

I could be tired because I have vivid nightmares all night, every night. I'm trying Unisom with so-so success; I'm trying to read light, sweet, sentimental books, and I won't watch "Chuck" with Matt. I have to gear up for "Lost" and then fill my head with happy thoughts or sappy movies. I am nervous to sleep, even nap.

I always want to know, what can I eat next? What will satisfy me? It's not about craving, exactly; more like finding the absolutely perfect food for this moment. Sometimes it's been grapefruit or fresh mozzarella. Mostly it's been Wendy's Frostys. Or Ramen Noodles. Yikes--poor baby. When all else fails, I'm eating up to three or four bowls of (healthy) cereal with frozen raspberries on top. I feel proud about that because it's low in sugar and fortified with lots of vitamins.

I'm terrible about taking actual pre-natal vitamins.

I'm gaining weight--probably due to the Frostys more than the baby. I'm employing the rubberband trick on my regular jeans, or trying to hold up the stylish belly-banded maternity pants that just don't quite fit yet. Honestly, I like the old-fashioned full-paneled deals, but I'm still in-between, in-between, too big for this, yet too small for that. I like Sundays when I can wear empire-waist dresses.

I love feeling baby move. For the past couple weeks, I occasionally found myself holding perfectly motionless, focusing on any slight movement. Even though I've done this four times before, I still love the magic, the miracle.

To be continued...maybe with a real photo, maybe even before I have the baby.